1. I don't want Doritos. I NEED Doritos. I'll drive to the store specifically for Doritos and then eat them the entire way home. Nacho cheese is delicious.
2. I forget anything and everything I might need to do, just did, and thought I was going to do.
3. If my toddler stays up past her bedtime I become Zombie Mommy.
4. Milk moustache advertisements make my mouth water.
5. I show up on time to the ob/gyn, but I drove to her previous office, which she hasn't used for two years.
6. I think, "Maybe I should eat" but within 10 minutes its too late, I'm as hungry as a ravenous beast.
7. My breasts are no longer used in pleasurable experiences - they have turned into a functional tool.
8. Dusting regularly involves the use of a shop vac.
9. Walmart's "mother-daughter" commercials make me cry.
10. I dream about forgetting stuff and wake up crying because I can't remember what I forgot...in my dream.