10.22.2015

I Want My Mommy!

I just put the kids to bed.  One was crying  because he chose to stay up past the book reading time.  "If you want me to read to you, we have to go to bed now."  Nope.  So I stepped out of his room to his sister's and he started, "I want my mommy! I want my mommy!"  I kissed the sister goodnight and said, "I am needed in the other room."  It is one of the great, incredible, and heart-warming parts of motherhood - to simply be the solution just by being the mommy.  Nightmares? Mommy.  Tummy ache? Mommy.  I cannot control much, I cannot even come close to fixing everything - but there are a few things that I fix just because I'm Mom.

I went into his room and sat on the edge of his bed.  He crawled into my lap and sobbed.  "Mommmmmyyyyy."  I said, "I understand how you feel.  Sometimes, even at 39 years old, I still want my mommy."  He said, "You do?"  I said, "Yes, I do.  Do you know the last time I wanted my mommy?"  He said, "No." I said, "Yesterday.  Would you like to hear this story?"

Yesterday, you took a nap in my office on the little blue and white chair while I was working.  Do you know the chair? The little white chair with blue stripes.  That chair was my Nana's chair and I've had it in our office since she died, 9 years ago.  She was a wonderful Nana, and I loved her very much. When she died I got a lot of her stuff and that chair is very special to me.  

You slept on the chair for a long time while I worked.  When you woke up you were cold.  There was one of our blankets on the chair and I wrapped you in it.  The blanket had been draped over that chair for a few months.  When I was done working, I said "OK, let's go up!"  You said, "Mom, carry me?"  I said, "Of course."  You stood up, I wrapped you up like a burrito in the blanket and picked you up.  I gave you a big hug and I smelled you.  It was unusual because all wrapped up in the blanket that had been on my Nana's chair - you smelled just like Nana's house - nine years later.  It struck me.  I was amazed.

And so right then, I wanted my mommy.  I wanted to tell her, "you can't believe what just happened!"  So we walked up the stairs to the kitchen and my phone rang.  And do you know who it was?  My mommy.  It was like she knew.

So you see, whether you are a little peanut or a full grown mommy like me - you will always want your mommy, and somehow I'll know, just like my mama knows.

#icarryitinmyheart