I am lost today.
I have read Sandra Boyton's books, put the coins in the singing pig, watched baby Einstein, sang "The Wheels on the Bus," and patiently tried to convince my daughter to eat her peas without fail for the past eleven months. Today I just need something else to do!
My frustration is not at the expense of my daughters good time - she is still having a lovely day. She's playing, tearing things up, dumping blocks out of her baskets, and chewing on anything she can. She's "so big," and high fiving her way from one nap to the next. I, on the other hand, am feeling the stir crazy, 8 degrees below zero, mom stuck in the house in the dead of winter blues.
I should shower. Somehow, hot water releases the pent up energy that I'd actually like to be exerting on a beach somewhere. I think I should go on vacation. I think vacation is what I need. I would like, of course, to bring her with me. I think she'd like vacation. Sand, sun, swimming.
Last night I had dinner with three other moms. It was a brief escape out of my house, but not out of this world. We talked about our kids most of the night. The words "all consuming" don't do the concept of motherhood justice.
It sounds like I'm complaining when actually, that is not my intention. I don't want to be away from her. I just want to have something to do today that doesn't involve the interior of my home. A museum, the library - an outing. I can go to the ymca after her nap, I can ride my bike as my training program suggests I should today. I feel like one of those grumpy women I hear at the y complaining about everything. In truth, I am not one of those women. I'm one of those women who usually doesn't allow the grumps to control her day.
I've got to take a shower. Wash this stink off.
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